


You Have No Idea (what I'm capable of)

by kylobsessed



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Professors, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Ben Solo can help, Coffee Shops, College Student Rey (Star Wars), F/M, Insomnia, Professor Ben Solo, Professors, Rey Needs A Hug, Slow Burn, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-05-19 04:56:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19349923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylobsessed/pseuds/kylobsessed
Summary: It was colder in his house than she expected when he let her in. Then again, he seemed to be a cold person, but that was all changing, too.Or:Rey is a student at Resistance University and her professor may be kinder than he comes off as.





	1. The First Encounter

Rey Kanata was late again. She had started at Resistance University and she already had been late to almost all of her classes. Most professors didn’t mind, but Ben Solo did. He was a Creative Writing professor and unbelievably strict, it seemed like everything she did was always wrong. He rode her so hard every class and every time she had to smile and answer the question like he didn’t just give her an internal mental breakdown. 

She groaned and quickly got out of bed, dressing quickly and putting her hair in her signature three buns which she could do with her eyes closed by this point. Running out the door, she threw on her shoes and ran. She was used to running now and it was almost like her morning exercise. 

She saw her target and sped towards the door which was being closed by none other than Professor Solo, who rolled his eyes when she screamed: “Wait!” 

 

“Get in Kanata,” He growled. 

 

“Sorry Professor,” Rey looked down at her shoes as she swiftly scurried to her seat. 

 

“Okay class, last week we talked about poetry and I gave you a prompt, that was due today yay, about something you never liked, hoping to change your mind. Any success with that?” He smirked.

 

“Fuck,” Rey whispered under her breath and Finn chuckled. 

 

His head snapped to the right, looking directly at her, “What was that Kanata?” 

 

“Nothing Professor,” Rey mumbled. 

 

“How did your poem go?” He knew she didn’t have it, which made everything better. 

 

“Good, really great. Brilliant, in fact,” She smiled nervously. 

 

“Can I see?” He walked over to her so she had to look straight up into his dark eyes. 

 

“Um, well that’s the problem. My dog ate it?” She was starting to sweat. 

 

“Dogs aren’t allowed in dorm rooms,” He paused, “should I be worried?” 

 

“N-no,” Rey stuttered. 

 

“Get it to me by tomorrow,” He rolled his eyes, “and see me after class.”

 

Her heart stopped.  _ And see me after class.  _ That never meant something good, unless it was erotica in which it went, she chuckled to herself, very well. But this wasn’t fiction, this was college.

Class ended after what seemed to be an eternity since Rey couldn't stop thinking about what he was going to say to her, maybe she would be kicked out, she really didn’t need that problem in her life. 

 

She turned to Finn who was packing up his stuff, “You know what?”

 

“What?” He replied. 

 

“I’m not going to see him after class, I’m just going to say I was sick.”

 

“He won’t believe you,” Finn sang as he gathered his books. 

 

“I don’t care, I just can’t see him, face the truth about my college education.”

 

“Okay, have fun being sick,” And he left.

  
  


Rey started walking away, realizing happily that Professor Solo had left to use the bathroom or something, which meant an easier escape. 

 

She ran out down the hallway and turned the corner only to hit a very tall man with a very broad chest. 

 

“Fuck!” She yelled as her books fell from her hand. She didn’t look up, “Shit,” She yelled as she picked up her books, “Watch where you are going asshole!” She yelled finally standing up. She froze as her eyes met who she just cursed out. 

 

“I could say the same to you Kanata,” Professor Solo’s deep voice echoed in her ear. She was petrified,  “Since you were the one sprinting around corners.” 

 

“I am SO sorry Professor Solo, I-”  _ Fuck. Fuck. Shit.  _

 

“You were supposed to be in my class waiting for me,” He cocked his head. 

 

“I felt sick,” She lied. 

 

“You didn’t seem sick running through these halls and cursing me out,” He said. 

 

“Right,” She said. 

 

“Well, come on!” He said, urging his hand to indicate her to follow him. 

 

“Where are we going?” She asked. 

 

“Get over yourself. You still owe me a meeting,” He smirked. 

 

“Oh fuck, yeah sorry,” She said and then froze again. Why did she keep screwing up?

 

He raised one eyebrow. 

 

“Shit, fuck, wait shit. OH MY GOD I AM SORRY!” She lost it. 

 

“You need to just stop talking Kanata before you are faced with a different kind of trouble.”

 

She followed him to his office, surprised he changed the location. 

 

“Sit,” He commanded. 

 

Rey, still not talking, sat immediately in the chair in front of his desk. Solo sat down slowly as if showing that he could do whatever he wanted.  _ God this man loves power. _

 

“Okay, let’s have a talk,” He said. 

 

Rey could only nod her head. 

 

“You are always late. Everything about you is just late. You turn in things late, you respond to my questions late, you are late to class. Why, can you tell me why?” He twirled his pen in his fingers. 

 

Rey gulped.  _ Fuck this man has huge hands _ .  _ What else is  _ “Big,”  _ Shit.  _ She had just said that out loud.

 

His eyes widened, wondering why she was zoned out and then randomly said ‘big.’

 

“What?” He said. 

 

“Big! I um, eat big breakfasts. Yeah, big breakfasts,” Good catch?

 

“Really?” He cocked his head, “That might be a reason for coming in late, but what about everything else? You are always zoning out, what could you possibly be thinking about?” 

 

She laughed at that, “ I'd rather not talk about what goes on inside my head, that’s my personal business.” It was mostly because she was constantly thinking of his big hands. 

 

“Well, you don’t really have a choice. Are you sleeping enough?”  _ No, because I wish you were sleeping with me.  _

 

“I don’t know, qualify good sleep,” She rolled her eyes. 

 

“Don’t do that, I’m your professor.” She quickly stopped, “Do you go out a lot?” 

 

“No,” She said.

 

“Look, you can trust me, I need to know what is going on so I don’t have to kick you out of my class, I really like your writing,” He was looking directly in her eyes. 

 

“I just can’t fall asleep, ever,” Tears formed in her eyes, she tried to hold them back. 

 

“Do you have someone to help you?” He was really going for it. 

 

“Like what? To fuck me to sleep?”  _ She really needed to stop blurting out whatever comes to mind.  _

 

“Wow okay,” He gulped, “I mean help you calm down?” He chuckled.  

 

“Does it look like I do?” The tears started to fall, caressing her cheeks. 

 

“I can’t answer that,” He said. 

 

“No, I don’t,” She was crying. 

 

“Okay,” He was choking on his words, “Tell me what you see in your mind, just say it,” His tone was soft.

 

“Nothing. I’m just so empty that it’s overwhelming,” she didn’t tear away from his eyes. 

 

“What about your friends? You have Finn and Rose-”

 

“They just don’t understand. They have had everything, they’re always so happy and inviting. I feel like I don’t belong with them.” She cupped her face with her palms. 

 

“I get that, Rey,” He was bold enough to know she needed someone. He had called her by her first name. Not Kanata, nothing but Rey, and he was finally Ben. Tears were falling into puddles in her lap, he hadn’t realized how hurt she was, he had always thought she was just a careless student; an extremely attractive, funny, and charming careless person.

 

He spoke again, “Hey, it’s okay, just try and get some sleep. I’m here, okay?”

 

“Okay,” She said, standing up. 

 

She left his office and closed the door behind her. She knew she couldn’t want him, but she felt like she needed him. 

  
  
  
  



	2. Comfortable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solo wants to meet again.

Ben Solo couldn’t sleep that night as his mind wandered to if this is how Rey felt every time the sun went down. As if on cue, the sun goes down and he just awakes. He wished she was there with him, but he knew it could never be that way. He could lose his job and he couldn’t afford that. So he laid on his mattress and stared up at his blank ceiling until morning came when he could see her again. 

 

Rey’s alarm blared, but this time she got up. She was not going to be late again, she didn’t need to be confronted again by Professor Solo, mostly because she thought she would lose control and do the things she dreamt about to him. 

 

Rey was the fifth person in the classroom which was the earliest she had ever been. Professor Solo wasn’t in the room and she suddenly became very nervous. As if all the things she had said to him were just becoming to enter her mind. She had spilled everything to him, things she hadn’t told anyone before, she even mentioned not having anyone to have sex with at night. 

 

When Rey finally exited her mind mess, she realized the class was full. 

 

And Professor Solo was staring directly at her. 

 

She felt self conscious like everyone else was also looking at her, and they could all tell she was thinking about him. She knew they couldn’t, but he could, she could just see it. 

 

“Kanata?” He said. 

 

“W-what?” She said groggily.

 

“You with us?” He questioned. 

 

“Yes Professor,” She confirmed that it wouldn’t happen again in her mind. 

 

“Good, okay back to where we were.”

  
  


The class ended and Rey stood up only to be called to Professor Solo’s desk. She couldn’t, Rey decided, she just couldn’t see him. So Rey pretended to not hear him, and she left to her dorm room. 

 

Rey entered and fell onto her bed, that was close. Suddenly, her laptop dinged, it was an email, and it was from Professor Solo. 

 

From: bsolo@resistance.edu 

 

Miss Kanata, 

 

I see that our discussion hasn’t helped with your participation. Perhaps a final one may be needed or else you will be kicked out of my class. I don’t think the school is good for your head, so let’s meet somewhere else. Meet me at the First Order Coffee house at 5:00 pm, and don’t be late like you have been in the past. No need to email me back, you have to come. 

 

Signed, 

 

Professor Solo

  
  


_ Holy Shit.  _ She couldn’t do this, but she had to. Was it even allowed to meet Professors outside of the school? Hopefully the coffee house was secluded, she hadn’t been to that one before, and she thought she had been to all of them.

 

Rey was met with the crisp air outside her dorm room. The air seemed to hit her skin differently; like it was clawing at her, like there was something there that she couldn’t have. She didn’t know how the meeting was going to go, she didn’t even know if it was legal, but she couldn’t get kicked out of this class. 

 

Then, as quick as her heartbeat, she saw it. It was a dark brick house, lined with red accents and a black door. There was something menacing about it: the way it made her shiver as if the very house was evil. Oh well, it suited him. 

 

She stepped inside and was met with a small room that was empty, except for Solo. He was sitting down,  reading something that she couldn’t make out, and was wearing glasses. He looked so content and serious; he was in his own world and nobody else was around him. 

 

The door chimed when it closed and he looked up and smiled, waving for her to sit across from him. She walked slowly as if cautious. 

 

“Kanata! Come and sit, I ordered you a coffee if that’s okay,” He said all too friendly. 

 

“Yeah that’s fine thank you,” She sat down, taking off her coat and draping it over her chair. She couldn’t help but notice that he was staring at her. 

 

“How are you?” He asked, getting to the point. 

 

“Fine,” Rey responded. 

 

He suddenly packed up his book and clasped his fingers together on the table, “You know that’s not true.”

 

“How do you know?” Rey raised an eyebrow. 

 

“Because I know that you broke down in my office a day ago, no one can recover that quickly, not even someone as strong as you,” His tone sang in her ear, so soothing and comfortable. 

 

“I don’t know what you want me to say, okay, I don’t feel comfortable talking to my professor about my problems. Or anyone for that matter.”

“I get that,” He paused, “So let’s get comfortable,” The drinks arrived and he immediately sipped from the white mug, like his tongue didn’t burn.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was short, I wanted to make a whole chapter just on the meeting.


	3. Discussion and Repercussion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk and Rey finds out that he may be what she needs.

“How do you drink this shit?” Rey spat out her black coffee, wincing at the sudden bitterness. 

 

“It’s amazing! What do you drink?” He asked laughing. 

 

“You don’t want to know,” She smiled. 

 

“I think... I do,” he smirked. 

 

“Ugh. Caramel Macchiatos with extra caramel,” She scrunched her nose, too cute for Ben to handle. 

 

“Oh my god. Reeeyyyy how could you do this to me??!!” He ran his hands down his face, stretching his mouth, and hiding his face in disappointment. 

 

“At least I didn’t make YOU drink it,” She smiled. 

 

“Touché,” He said, “Okay, Rey, what else do you like?” He was calling her Rey again. 

 

“I don’t quite see the point of your question,” She cocked her head. 

 

“What are your interests? You know, favorite books, movies, what you like to do,” he trailed off. 

 

“I like to ask my professors why they are asking me about what I like,” She said cautiously. 

 

“I know it’s strange, but this will help me help you,” He said. 

 

“What makes you think I need your hel-”

 

“We already went over this. Just open up a little, you don’t have to share your deepest darkest secrets or anything. I just want to know more about you so I can help,” He kept saying ‘so I can help’ as if to cover up the fact that he really wanted to get to know her because he was amazed by her. 

 

“Fine. But I hate the whole cliché favorite book thing where I say a deep book and then discuss the most boring lines that make no sense but we pretend that we know what they mean when really the author didn’t give a damn about what the words meant. Same with the movie thing,” she finished. 

 

“Okay, so what do you want to say then?” He asked. 

 

“I like rain,” she said. 

 

“Really, interesting. Why?” He said.

 

“I like the way it gives me an excuse to stay inside,” She laughed. 

 

“Oh my, we have some work to do,” He was expecting a deep answer, like how the drops filled her scars or some shit like that. 

 

“What were you expecting a deep answer like how the drops filled my scars from my past,” She mocked. 

 

“Yes, that is exactly what I was expecting, actually,” He laughed. 

 

“Ugh, you’re one of those,” She rolled her eyes. 

 

“No, I just thought you were. And what did I say about rolling your eyes?” He said. 

 

“Really? Me?” 

 

“Yes, you,” He said as if his voice dropped an octave. She didn't know his voice could go any deeper. 

 

“Well, you are as clumsy as you are stupid,”  _ Shit.  _ She just made a Star Wars reference, now he will know she’s a nerd. 

 

“Star Wars! God, I love Star Wars,” he said. 

 

“Really? You, a Star Wars fan, I don’t believe it,” She smiled. 

 

“Mm believe it,” He smirked. 

 

“Nice to know,” She sang. 

 

“I could say the same for you,” He said, “So, is that what you think about in my class?” 

 

“No, good guess, I’m not really ready to share that yet,” She dropped her head. 

 

“It’s okay. Tell me more,” She looked up, “Please.”

 

______________________________________________________________________________

  
  


They ended up spending 3 hours talking in the coffee house and Rey found her mouth dry when she got home. She had never talked to anyone for that long. She also knew more about a professor than she ever thought possible, like how Prof Solo had an uncle who he despised named Luke. 

 

Now alone in her dorm, she realized how lonely it was. She wished his voice was still in her ear, his smile close to her, and his warmth emanating towards her, covering her like a blanket. She reached in her pocket to pull out her phone and felt a slip of paper caress her fingers. She pulled it out and opened it. It read:

 

_ 573 S Front St  _

 

_ Come over if you need me, I don’t sleep either.  _

 

_ P.S I have a shit ton of food.  _

 

She smiled, she wasn’t alone. 

 

Rey slept more that night than she had the entire year. All the emptiness was lifted off her chest, and for once in her life, she felt whole. 

 

_ She saw the sandy desert, the sand particles lodged in her eyes, the blurry vision as her parents drove away. The firm hand on her shoulder as she screamed out to come back, too young to know that they wouldn’t. The cries were muffled by the same hand as she felt the weight of loneliness creep its way into her.  _

 

Rey woke up, a bead of sweat dripping down her forehead. She hadn’t slept well, she was Rey Kanata, she didn’t sleep well. Why would she even think that a night’s rest was possible?

 

She checked the time, it was only 1:00 am. She hadn’t even slept for 4 hours when the nightmare came again. 

 

Would he be awake? He said he didn’t sleep either, but maybe that was just to make her feel better, but there was one way to find out. He didn’t live that far away from the school, and it was an easy walk for Rey, the street lamps of the empty town to guide her. 

 

She knocked on the door. He answered. 

 

He was wearing a white shirt and black sweatpants, she had never seen him this way before. 

 

“Rey,” he swallowed. 

 

“I can’t sleep,” She cried. 

 

“I know,” He let her in. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry my chapters are so short. I feel like I need to stop them at certain points for DRAMATIC effect... Also, I'M SEEING BURN THIS ON JULY 2!!! I can't wait to see Adam hefwghoigsng.


	4. Reckless and Restless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey visits Ben in the night and has a revelation the next day.

It was colder in his house than she expected when he let her in. Then again, he seemed to be a cold person, but that was all changing, too. 

 

She took in her surroundings, slowly scanning her eyes around his apartment. The walls were dark grey and his furniture was either black or red. There was a black leather couch in front of a plasma screen television. The thing that shocked her was the variety of modern to old. For example, he had a glass coffee table with red underneath, but sitting on top of it was an old fashioned record player. It was way nicer than she expected, he must have had a rich relative that died. She quickly regretted thinking that. 

 

He walked over to his couch and patted the space next to him. 

 

“Sit,” he said lightly. 

 

“You have a really nice place. You even have one of those fireplaces that are in a straight line and look fake but aren’t, that’s really cool,” she smiled, still crying. 

 

“Thank you,” he chuckled. 

 

She sat down next to him he put his arms around her, pressing her into his chest. 

 

“Why are you so nice to me?” She asked. 

 

“What?” He looked down at her. 

 

“I mean, this isn’t exactly a thing you do with all students unless it is and I’m just stupid I don’t mean to impose or anythi-”

 

He cut her off, “I have never done this with anyone, especially not a student. You, Rey, are the light to my world if I’m being honest. You have so much potential, you are so special and I don’t think you realize that. So here I am, and I know you're my student, but I want- I need to help you realize that, however that may be.”

 

“I don’t know what to say to that. Nobody has ever cared for me this way, maybe Maz, but not THIS way,” tears were falling again. 

 

“Who’s Maz?” he asked, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

 

“It’s a long story, I’ll save that for another time,” she yawned. 

 

“You’re tired,” he said. 

 

“I guess I am,” she closed her eyes and Ben found her asleep after five minutes. 

 

He didn’t know what to do. He knew this could not be happening, but she needed this. So he scooped her up, walked her to his bedroom, and set her on his king sized bed, tucking her into the warm sheets. He could sleep on the couch. 

 

______________________________________________________________________________

  
  


Rey woke up and took several minutes before realizing where she was, blushing when she remembered everything that happened. She was growing so close to him, it wasn’t good. She also realized that he was in the other room and would have to confront him again, and this time, he was shirtless. 

 

“Morning,” he said, a coffee mug in his hand. 

 

“Morning. Hey, I’m sorry about last night, I didn’t mean to stay the night or even come over in the first place but here we are. Also, I’m sorry that you couldn’t even sleep in your own bed, I would have happily slept with you. Oh god not that way, well yes, but that’s not what I meant-”

 

“Slow down, Rey, take a deep breath, and let me make you some breakfast,” he laughed. 

 

“I can’t, I have plans with Rose and Finn, but thank you,” she said. 

 

“Okay, just make sure to eat, and don’t be late to class on Monday, oh and enjoy your weekend!” He yelled as she walked out the door.

 

He smiled to himself at the comment she had rambled. ‘I would have happily slept with you. Oh god not that way, well yes,’ he had almost stopped breathing when the words escaped her lips. The truth was, Ben didn’t know if he could go two days without seeing her; it was going to be a long weekend.   

 

______________________________________________________________________________

  
  


“It sounds like you have the hots for your professor,” Rose laughed.  

 

“Definitely,” Finn chuckled.  

 

“Fuck me,” Rey rolled her eyes. 

 

“Just tell him that,” Finn said, Rose almost choking on her coffee. 

 

“Oh my,” Rey laughed. 

 

“Look, it may not be the best decision realistically, but possibly the best decision in every other way,” Rose said. 

 

“Hmph, I just, he’s my fucking professor!” Rey yelled a little too loudly. 

 

“Then wait until he’s not,” Finn said, putting his glass to his mouth. 

 

“I mean I may just make a move, I basically said that I want to sleep with him,” Rey slumped in her chair.

 

Rose’s eyes widened, “Wait what?”

 

“Well, I stayed the night because I was going through some shit and he was so welcoming. He slept on the couch and in the morning, I said apologized for kicking him out of his bed and that I would have happily slept with him, you know, like he could have still slept in his bed, I’m small. So he looks shocked so I say not that way, but then he looks disappointed, so I say that I would, then he told me to calm down because I was rambling.”

 

Finn and Rose look like they saw a ghost after Rey’s long short story. 

 

“Yep, he wants to sleep with you, and obviously you do too honey,” Rose smiled and Finn does the same. 

 

______________________________________________________________________________

  
  


Rey walked back to her place lost in thought. She contemplated everything Finn and Rose had said, annoyed that they were always right. She wanted him, fuck it, she was going to tell him. No, she hated that kind of conversation, she was just going to see how everything played out. 

 

It was raining hard. Rey couldn’t sleep again, no matter how much she loved the rain. She wanted to go to Ben’s again, but he had implied not to come over since he said ‘see you on Monday.’ 

 

Rey realized that she was maybe depending too much on him. She had fallen asleep even when she didn’t go begging at his front door, why did she need him now? Fuck it, she was going over. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a lot of inspiration lately, sorry if this isn't a great chapter.


	5. Don't Worry, I Feel It Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little NSFW at the end... beware.

Rey walked out of her dorm, immediately being met with the pouring rain. She jumped as her phone started to buzz in her pocket, it was the hospital from where she grew up. 

 

“Hello?” Rey said, worried. 

 

“Miss Kanata?” An unfamiliar voice asked. 

 

“This is her.”

 

“I am Dr. Dameron calling to inform you about the sudden death of Maz Kanata, I heard you were her adopted daughter, I am so sorry for your loss,” Rey burst into tears as his cold voice tried to show sympathy. Maz saved her from the pain of her childhood, but Rey couldn’t save her. 

 

She didn’t know what to do, she had never felt so alone. 

 

____________________________________

  
  


There was a knock at Ben’s door. He answered to see a drenched and crying Rey, who immediately fell into his arms, sobbing against his chest. 

 

“Rey? What happened?” He said, closing the door.

 

“Maz died,” Rey sobbed. 

 

The name was familiar to Ben, she had mentioned her before, but didn’t tell her who she was. He looked down at her, her eyes filled with sorrow looking up at him. He wiped the tears away from her cheeks and sat her down on his couch. 

 

“Talk to me Rey, please,” He said. 

 

“Maz adopted me when I was thirteen. Before, I was in foster care owned by a terrible man named Unkar Plutt. He was mean and cruel and we would rarely be fed, I went to bed most nights starving, but nobody suspected him, or they didn’t care because we were just foster kids. Then one day, Maz came. She adopted me and was the sweetest woman I had ever met, I was so thankful to be saved and got to live a better life than I ever imagined,” Rey had stopped crying. 

 

“That Plutt guy seems awful, Rey! I wish I could go and punch him in his distgusting fucking face!” Ben wasn’t sure why he was so defensive, he just knew that he was mad. 

 

“Yeah, me too,” Rey laughed. 

 

“I’m sure Maz lived an amazing life, especially since she got to raise you,” Ben hugged her close. 

 

“Thank you for everything Ben,” Rey sniffled against his arm. 

 

“Anything, Rey,” he laid down on the couch, Rey on top of him. They both fell asleep, sorrow and gratitude thick in the air. 

 

_______________________________

  
  


Rey woke up on Ben, she was still in shock about Maz. She needed to forget about it, put it out of her mind until she needed to bring it back. 

 

“Rey?” Ben said, still half asleep.

 

“I’m up,” Rey said, getting off of him. 

 

“I’m taking you out,” Ben said as he slumped off the couch. 

 

“Where?” Rey asked smiling. 

 

“Breakfast.”

 

__________________________________

  
  


“We’re here,” Ben smirked. 

 

“Ooh how mysterious,” Rey laughed. 

 

“Well yes, then the pancakes come, and suddenly nothing is mysterious anymore,” he said as they sat down at a booth. 

 

“Why is that?” Rey asked, placing the napkin on her lap. 

 

“Because they’re pancakes!” That was when Rey found out he loved pancakes. 

 

“Interesting.” 

 

“Very.”

 

Their food arrived and they immediately devoured their plates. 

 

“Fuck that was good,” Rey smiled. 

 

“Language,” Ben mocked. 

 

“Fuck fuck fuck shit,” Rey laughed as the people around flashed her looks of dissaproval. 

 

“Jesus Rey,” Ben laughed with a wide, toothy grin. 

 

The waiter arrived with the check, “Let me pay,” Rey said. 

 

“Absolutely not,” Ben laughed, placing his credit card in the holder. 

 

“Ugh so difficult,” Rey growled. 

 

“Can your professor please just buy you breakfast?” he laughed. 

 

“Absolutely,” She paused as he smiled, “fucking not.”

 

“Too bad,” he smiled as he finished paying, “Let’s get out of here.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“So what do you want to do now?” Ben asked. 

 

“Well I probably need to handle some shit for Maz, you know funeral plans, god how fucking depressing,” Rey scoffed. 

 

“Hey, can I help with anything?” he placed his hand around her waist. 

 

“No, I can do it, thank you though, for everything,” Rey smiled. 

 

“Anything, Rey,” he smiled and drove her home. 

 

Rey was on the phone all day with the funeral home, working out all of the problems, keeping her on hold, and mostly being overall unhelpful. She eventually figured out all of the details and set a date for everything that needed to get done. 

 

She slammed on her bed and sighed, life was fucking hard. She wished so badly that Ben was with her, helping her, with… other things.... Not just with planning. 

 

She pictured his hands sliding down her stomach, his lips planting on every inch of her skin, marking her. She imagined moaning his name,  _ not yet,  _ he would say.

 

Her hands travelled down her stomach, now, and her breathing sped up. Her breath was shaking as her hand glided around her clit, her other hand clawing at the sheets.  She heard his deep voice in her ear,  _ Come of me Rey, I need you.  _

 

There was a knock at the door, and a familiar voice asking if she was in there. 

 

“Coming!” Rey yelled. 

 

She opened the door and was met with his chest, craning her neck to look up at him. 

 

“Ben! Sorry, I was just taking a.... A nap,” she lied, “What do you need?”

 

What did he need? His eyes travelled down and he realized her shorts were unbuttoned. He smirked as his mind put the puzzle pieces together. 

 

“I can help with that,” he smirked. 

 

“What?” Rey asked, backing away as he came inside. 

 

“Don’t worry, I feel it too,” his lips met hers and he threw her on the bed. 

 

“Fuck!” she moaned. 

 

“Language,” His hands removed her shirt and he pressed his lips against her skin. 

 

He travelled down her frame until he was met with her shorts, which he quickly removed. 

 

“You are so beautiful,” He breathed. 

 

His tongue grazed her clit and she shivered, arching her back at his touch. He continued, tasting every inch of her, making her moan out too loudly than she hoped. 

 

“I need you to come for me Rey,” he said, pushing her over the edge. 

 

“Ben!” She came over his lips, rolling her eyes back. 

 

He came up to her and kissed her lips, she could taste her on him. He sucked on her neck and came back so he was looking over her. His thumb pressed against her bottom lip, the rest of his fingers cupping the side of her face. His dark eyes stared at her until she spoke, “Thank you, Professor.”

 

He was in shock at how she took to his sudden actions, “Anytime,” and he was out the door. 

 

Rey slept the entire night, dreaming about the next time she would get to see him, which would be Monday... in class. 

  
  



	6. Dreams vs Reality

Rey stormed into class, definitely not late. She would have been, except for the fact that she was awake at 5 am, startled from a dream about her professor whose class she was attending. Her mind was having trouble grasping the ideas swarming her mind about Ben Solo. She searched for answers as to how to handle the potential relationship, or, fuck it, the already present relationship. 

 

Ben made eye contact with her the second she walked in the door, making her more nervous about the situation than she already was. It was like his eyes were deep in her soul, tearing out her thoughts. 

 

Prof Solo started to gather his thoughts and he stood up to start teaching. 

 

“Class, It’s time we talk about midterms, how exciting. They will be coming sooner than you think…”

 

Rey didn’t listen to the rest, she needed to think about what she was going to say to him after class. She was going to walk up to him, ask him where their relationship was going to go, and hopefully not fuck everything up.

 

The class ended and Rey waited for everyone to leave before walking up to Ben. She made sure everyone was out and then spoke, “Can I talk to you?”

 

“What is it Rey?” His tone seemed more toxic than usual. 

 

“About last night. I don’t know what was going-”

 

He cut her off, “What happened last night?”

 

“Oh fine, play it that way! Act like nothing fucking happened, I don’t care, it’s not like you fucking ate me out or anythi-”

 

“Wait what? I seriously have no clue, Rey! We didn’t see each other,” He cocked his head. 

 

“Oh fuck, nevermind,” She sprinted out of his room faster than the first time he called her to see him after class. 

 

He ran after her, calling her to come back, but she was too far gone.  _ What did she say?  _ He couldn’t remember what she said.  _ Why did she think we were together last night?  _ He figured she must have been on something, and he walked back into his classroom. 

 

Rey’s breathing was heavy as she stumbled around the corner. It was all a dream, all of it. She forgot her tendency of mixing up dreams with reality when drunk. She should have never gone to him, now he knew that she was crazy, or drinking, or thinking she was thinking about him in ways he didn’t think the same way. She needed to go home, luckily that was her only class for the day.

 

The thoughts of last night kicked in around 5 pm, her actual actions replaying in her head, everything reminding her of the fact that he didn’t come over, and he won’t. 

 

_ Rey had finished all of the preparations for the funeral. Everything was fixed, except her. Her grief started to kick in after the planning, she was too busy for that before. Now, she needed a drink, her tactic to forget. She happened to have a bottle of, she didn’t know, but it would work. She didn’t drink often, but this was left over from Finn’s party and she insisted she take the bottle home, and Rey never declined alcohol.  _

 

_ Rey sat on her chair, the bottle in her hand. She cried, tears streaming down her cheeks, and then she thought about that. She hated that she cried so much, and she hated that she hated herself for crying. People told her it was okay, but she couldn’t agree, and she couldn’t help it. So Rey cried into her drink because of Maz, because of crying, and because she was crying into her drink like a tormented forty-year-old man who was lonely.  _

 

_ She stumbled to the bed after she consumed too much, the sheets consuming her. She let her mattress surround her, and then she thought of Ben, wishing he was there with her, being there instead of the toxins in her stomach and the burn in her throat. That was when she started dreaming.  _

 

_ And thought it was her reality. _

 

_ _____ _ _________________

  
  


Ben knew he should give her space, but he also knew that she may be needing someone. He picked up his phone resting on his desk and texted her. 

 

**Rey, are you okay? Whatever happened, I’m here.**

 

He put his phone down and waiting for a response. 

 

Rey’s phone buzzed in her pocket, her heart stopped when she saw the name, it was Ben. She knew he would be worried if she didn’t respond, but she didn’t want to open up again, he was probably tired of her baggage. 

 

_ I’m okay.  _

 

It felt like days before his phone lit up with her response, which he knew was a lie. 

 

**Don’t do that, don’t shut me out. Come over, we can talk. Please?**

 

_ Okay. I just don’t want you to get tired of me, I feel like I’m always coming over and spilling my problems on you like you’re my fucking therapist.  _

 

**Rey, never feel like you can’t come to me, I care about you. More than I’ve ever cared for anyone in my life. Just come over. Now.**

 

Rey started to walk over to his place, contemplating whether or not she was making the right decision. She knew she was, but it felt like it wasn’t supposed to be. 

 

Ben’s bell rang and he quickly jumped up and answered the door. 

 

“Rey, come in,” Ben’s soothing voice comforted Rey’s ears.

 

 She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. Ben was shocked, his eyes widening at her touch, and quickly walked her over to the couch. 

 

He spoke to her, grabbing her water, “Okay, what’s wrong?”

 

“It’s nothing, I’m just sad about Maz and everything I guess,” she accepted the water as he sat down next to her, the cushions sinking with his weight. 

 

“Rey, please, I know that, but you said something after class, something about me being over last night or something? Were you on something, what was that about?” he placed his hand on her thigh, she shivered at his touch. 

 

“I was drunk, and I guess my dream, well, I thought it actually happened, it happens when I drink,” she sighed, not wanting to go into detail. 

 

“Me too, what was the dream about?” he may have overstepped a boundary since her cheeks grew bright red. 

 

“Um, nothing you just, came over, to my dorm,” she stuttered.

 

“Hm, okay. Look, I know it’s Monday night, but can I make you dinner?” he asked. 

 

“No, you really don’t have to-” 

 

“I know if I don’t make you dinner, you probably won’t eat, so, please. Also, it’s really already made,” he laughed. 

 

Rey smiled, a night with Ben wouldn’t be so bad, “Fine.”

 

“Great, it won’t take long, feel free to look around the house or do that thing where you find a photo of me and someone and ask who it is, even though you really don’t care,” she laughed as he stood up, walking over to the kitchen.

 

“Happily,” she smiled. 

 

______________________

  
  


“Bon appetit,” he said, placing the plate in front of her. 

 

“Wow! This looks really good, did you make this!” She looked at the plate of chicken piccata pasta, which was her idea of ‘sexy date food,’ which also made her think of the category of the dinner they were having. Could it be considered a date? Or did he just have a very romantic taste for regular Monday night dinners?

 

“Cooking has always been a hobby of mine,” he smirked. 

 

“Well, your hobby has made me want to come over every night,” she smiled. 

 

“Anything to see you more,” Rey blushed, she didn’t know if she could take any more light flirting, it was ripping her apart. 

 

“So, what is it like being a professor?” she asked, switching the subject. 

 

“Well, I like it. I really wanted a job at First Order University, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job. RU wasn’t my first choice, but a job is a job, and I like teaching,” he sighed. 

 

“Why weren’t you fit for the job? I heard FOU likes big and brooding scholars,” she mocked. 

 

“That’s the thing, they said I was too soft, actually,” he said sheepishly. 

 

“You? Soft? When I first saw you- spoke to you- I was terrified. I mean now, I think you are quite ‘soft,’ but first impression wise, you are scary as fuck!” she laughed. 

 

“Well, apparently not intimidating enough for them,” he rolled his eyes, “But thank you for the compliment.”

 

Rey winked, taking a sip from her glass, “Anytime.”

 

_______________________

  
  


They finished their food and cleaned up, laughing at each other’s annoying comments on their dishwashing skills. 

 

“Let’s watch a movie,” Ben said. 

 

“Okay, but please no romance, I hate those movies,” she said. 

 

“Fine, what is Rey approved?” he laughed.

 

“Mystery, Action, Comedy, anything but cheesy romance,” she smirked, sitting on the couch with Ben. 

 

“Good Will Hunting?” Ben asked. 

 

“Love it, kind of romance-ish, but it’s so much more than that,” she said eagerly. A man who liked Good Will Hunting? It was too good to be true. 

 

“Okay,” he said, searching the movie on Netflix and starting it. 

 

This was the moment Rey realized they were watching Netflix, which also meant that it was never just Netflix, it was a whole phrase.  _ No.  _ This was Ben, his intentions were not that, not that she would be mad if they were. 

 

They were halfway through the movie when Ben spoke, “I know that I didn’t just come over to your dorm in your dream, Rey.”

 

Her breathing stopped, “Really?”

 

“Now let me make your dream a reality,” he smirked, pressing his lips against hers. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update! Hope you enjoyed ;) 
> 
> Also, Good Will Hunting is a great movie, kind of random in the story, but still.


	7. Following

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it has been so long! I was in Halifax! Also, I know Rey is at a club, but I will explain that in the next chapter. She's not underage I promise. I know this chapter is short, but I wanted to end it at a good part.

 

“Fuck!” Rey yelled, Ben’s arms still wrapped around her. 

 

“What?” he said groggily. 

 

“It’s 8:00!” she quickly jumped from his bed and started to get dressed. 

 

“No, come back. Now,” he said, his face growing firmer. 

 

Her eyes darted from him to the bed to her clothes. She couldn’t stay, no matter how much she wanted to. She had a life, classes, and friends. No matter how much she wanted to repeat last night all day with him, she knew she couldn’t. 

 

“Ben. I can’t, I have a ton of shit to get done.”

 

“Well, that's what it is: shit. Stay, my class isn’t until tomorrow.”

 

“I have other classes too, dumbass.”

 

He sneered, “You’re mean in the morning.”

 

“You’re surprisingly not.” 

 

“Well, fine. Can I make you dinner tonight again?” he said, his eyes growing bigger. 

 

Rey frowned, remembering her plans. “I have to go out with Finn and Rose, sorry.”

 

Ben flew himself down back into the sheets. “Fine. Promise you won’t forget me?” 

 

“I promise.” she smiled. 

 

“Let me walk you out,” he said. 

 

“Okay.”

 

He got out of bed and Ben smiled when her cheeks grew red at the sight of him. He threw on his boxers and they walked out. Rey hesitantly opened the door, as if she didn’t want to leave his apartment, and she didn’t want to leave him. It was so comfortable; she felt at home with him. Maybe he didn’t feel the same way, but she loved him. She didn’t know how to say it to him; afraid she might fuck it up. 

 

“Bye,” Rey said, stepping out the door. 

 

“Bye Rey.”

 

He thought he saw her mouth form ‘I love you’ on the way out, but he waved it off as a trick of the light. 

 

* * *

 

Rey couldn’t stop thinking about Ben the entire day. She was always zoning out, and to think, he was trying to help her with that problem. He had helped with so much more.

 

“Rey!” Rose yelled across the hall. 

 

“Hi Rose.” Rey smiled. 

 

“Is everything okay?” she said.

 

“Yeah. It’s just been a tough few days. Maz died.”

 

“Really? Why didn’t you come to me?” Rose frowned.

 

“I don’t know, I was just feeling weird.” 

 

“I get that. How are things with you and Solo?”

 

“Why did you say it like ‘me and Solo’ like we’re together?” 

 

“You seem like you are. I mean how many times have you been with each other the past week?” 

 

It was true, Rey had been practically living with him. They never defined their relationship because Rey was worried that they couldn’t. So, if they just didn’t talk about it, it wasn’t anything. She wanted it to be something, but she knew it couldn’t be that way. 

 

“He’s just been like a therapist to me I guess,” Rey said, shrugging. 

 

“Do therapists invite you to their house, cook dinner for you, and then have sex with you? That sounds like a relationship to me.” 

 

“Can we just stop talking about this?” Rey snapped. 

 

“Okay, fine. Just don’t get in trouble and I’ll see you tonight.” Rose smiled as she walked away. 

 

Rey walked the halls of RU; she really liked it. She liked the way the large windows let the sun pour into the empty halls during less crowded times, or- in more crowded times- still stay bright against the people. Rey was tired, everything seemed to be happening so fast, and she couldn’t help but realize that she was running herself too hard. She remembered the coffee shop she hadn’t been to in a while; she decided to go. 

 

* * *

 

It was less crowded than usual, the baristas were behind the counter and the cashiers were taking orders. Rey started to walk up to the small line when she spotted Ben sitting at one of the wooden tables, his head buried in his laptop.  

 

_ No no no no _

 

She couldn’t see him right now. She needed time to think, to process; some time to herself. She quickly flung herself to the door. 

 

Ben heard a loud shuffle and looked up. He had always been interested in seeing what people were doing; he was an observer. What he didn’t know was that the shuffle was Rey opening the door. 

 

“Rey!” he called out. 

 

She didn’t turn around, but he knew she heard him; the coffee house was dead silent. Was she avoiding him? Why would she do that?

 

Rey felt bad, knowing that he knew she heard him, but she just had to get out. 

 

She walked the streets back to RU, tears in her eyes. She had no idea why she was crying, but it was almost time to meet Finn and Rose for dinner so she needed to pull herself together. 

 

* * *

 

“Rey! Come over here!” Finn called from their table. 

 

“Hey guys,” Rey smiled. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Rose said, eyeing her up and down. 

 

“I saw Ben at that coffee shop around the block and I bolted out.”

 

“Damn. Did he see you?” Finn asked, rubbing her hand across the table. 

 

“Yes. He called out and I fucking left. He probably thinks I hate him.”

 

“Well, why did you leave?” Rose asked. 

 

“Yeah, there has to be some reason,” Finn said. 

 

“Everything is just happening so fast. I need some space.” Rey took a sip from her drink. 

 

“Tell him that. Don’t just avoid him or he may get the wrong idea.” Rose nodded at Finn’s words. 

 

“You’re right. Anyways, what’s up with you guys?” Rey smiled. 

 

“Rose found this great club. They have amazing bands that play. We want to go tonight. Come with us?” Finn asked excitedly. 

 

“That sounds fun. I could use a drink. Or a few.” Rey laughed.

 

“Couldn’t we all.”

 

* * *

 

The club was packed full with people dancing, the neon lights illuminating the crowds. Rey headed straight for the bar only to run into him again. 

 

“Are you following me?” Ben asked, looking up at her with a cocktail in his hand.

 

 

A cocktail? Really?


	8. An End to the Beginning

She could barely hear him over the music, but she knew what he said. The truth was, she was starting to believe that maybe she was following him. Subconsciously, but still always finding her way back to him. Maybe she knew she wanted to avoid him, but her mind couldn’t grant that wish. Maybe it was just a coincidence, but Rey found that that concept was vague. She would choose what she wanted to believe, that she needed Ben Solo. So she denied. 

 

“No. What are you doing at a bar?” Rey asked. 

 

“What are  _ you _ doing at a bar? Last time I checked you’re not twenty-one.”

 

“Bold of you to assume so. I’m twenty-one, didn’t go to college right away.”

 

“I can’t believe I never asked you your age!” Ben’s eyes widened. 

 

“It’s fine. I didn’t ask either.” She looked at the bartender. “Whiskey.”

 

“I’m twenty-nine.”

 

“Thank god. I was worried you were going to say forty.”

 

“Do I look that old?” He laughed. 

 

She grabbed her whiskey. “No, but you are very… large.”

 

“Thank you,” he said. 

 

“You’re welcome.” 

 

“Hey I’m so-” she started to say.

 

“Why have you been avoiding me?” 

 

“I don’t know. I’m so dumb. I was worried that if I got too attached, you would leave and I would be alone again. I just didn’t want things to go too far and then collapse. I thought space would help.”

 

“Rey,” he said. 

 

“But I’m realizing that space is the last thing I need.”

 

“I’m not going to leave you. I love you.” 

 

The words hit her like a truck. How could she have been so blind to him? Here she thought that this was a small thing, he didn’t really like her, which was why she wanted to break away. He loved her, and she loved him, too. 

 

“I love you, too.”

 

“No matter what goes on in our lives, I will always be there.”

 

“I love you so much. That’s so fun to say!” She laughed. 

 

“Let’s get drunk and feel a lot,” he said, clinking her glass with his. 

 

They drank to making up. 

 

They drank to love. 

 

They drank to loving each other. 

 

“Let’s dance!” Rey yelled. 

 

“No. Please, I can’t do that.”

 

“Yes. You can.”

 

She pulled at his hands and lead him to the center of the crowd. Her hands explored everything on him, playing with the sleeves on his shirt, fingers lingering behind his neck, pressing herself against him. She helped him sway to the music, finding his lack of experience extremely funny. She thought it was probably because he was such a big man trying to dance in a crowd of people who knew what they were doing. He just stood out, and that’s why she loved him.  

 

“What are we going to do about the professor situation?” Ben tried to yell over the loud music. 

 

“The year’s almost over. You won’t be my professor anymore,” she said, pressing her head against his chest. 

 

Finn stormed up to Rey, pushing through the crowd. “Rey! There you are! You just disappeared-” He looked up at Ben. “Hello, Professor Solo.”

 

“Call me Ben,” he said, smiling. 

 

Finn was obviously nervous seeing his own prof in a club, but that was beside the point. “Did you uh grade my paper yet?” 

 

“Finn!” Rey laughed. 

 

“What? I should be able to talk to my professor no matter where we are! So, Ben, you like Rey huh?”

 

“I love her.” Ben looked down and smiled. 

 

“Just, don’t hurt her. Also, don’t be unfair with the finals, unless I get bonus points for being her friend. I can take the credit.” 

 

“Finn! That’s enough!” Rey couldn’t help but smile. 

 

“No. It’s fine. Finn, you’re a good student; you’ll do fine.”

 

“Thank you, sir.” 

 

Finn stood there watching the couple wrapped up in each other for too long, and he ran off with Rose when he noticed. 

 

“Sorry. That was weird.” Rey smiled. 

 

“It’s okay. I would be fucking terrified if I saw my professor at a nightclub with my best friend, too.”

 

“Well, when you put it that way!” 

 

“I’m just kidding! Partially.” 

 

“I love you.” She reached up and let her lips find hers. 

 

“I love you, too,” he said against her lips. 

 

They let themselves get lost in the atmosphere, knowing well that the night was one of the best. A milestone for their feelings, and for the first time in forever, Rey felt safe and- most importantly- happy. She had someone to love, to hold, and someone to do the same for her. It seemed as if all of her struggles of the year had paid off, and she let Ben Solo be the one forever. 

 

Her person. 

 

Her rock. 

 

Her everything. 

 

* * *

 

3 Years Later:

 

The speaker rang loud through the grassy field. “Rey Kanata.”

 

She stepped up to receive her diploma. Everything worked out; everything was perfect. She made it. 

 

“Meet at Rey’s in thirty?” Finn said to the crowd. 

 

“Yes!” Everyone cheered. 

 

Rey smiled. “Okay. I’ll make sure to have food this time,” she said, remembering the time when she almost starved everyone when they said ‘party at Rey’s’. 

 

She spotted Ben. 

 

“I’ll see you guys soon.” With that, she was off. 

 

Ben was standing alone, like always, and she smiled. He had also stuck with her. No matter how long her nights were with stress, when they wouldn’t be able to see each other for days, and all the times she needed someone to rely on, he had been there. 

 

“Do you think this gown suits me?” Rey smiled up at him. 

 

“Eh. I don’t really think orange is your color.” He smirked. 

 

She nudged his shoulder. “Hey!” She paused. “Me either.”

 

“You look beautiful. I’m so proud of you.”

 

Those words. She needed those words. Her whole life she was always second guessing herself, but this time, someone was proud of her. Someone she loved. 

 

“The group is going to my place. Wanna come?” 

 

“Sure. Just don’t make me socialize too much.”

 

“Fine.” She rolled her eyes. 

 

“Also,” he said. 

 

“What?” She looked worried. 

 

“Are you ready for grad school?”

 

She laughed, punching his arm. “Fuck you.”

 

“Language,” he said, pulling her to his car. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked reading this! Honestly, this is wasn't my favorite fic that I've done. Too many tropes? Too cheesy? I don't know, but I do hope you guys liked it.


End file.
